


Diamond Bloom, or was it Apple Tiara?

by SaraJaye



Category: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Genre: Art Contests, Awkwardness, Diamond Tiara's really mellowed out, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Fluffy Ending, Ponyville Are Shippers on Deck, Post-Crusaders of the Lost Mark, or nuzzle since ponies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-03-11
Packaged: 2019-03-29 16:56:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13931331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: When a visiting pony submits a certain picture to an art contest, rumors fly about Apple Bloom and her former nemesis. Naturally, the only way to stop them is to date her. Wait, what?





	Diamond Bloom, or was it Apple Tiara?

**Author's Note:**

> Alternately: Yes, this is a blatant sendup of the South Park episode Tweek x Craig, only G-rated and with talking horses.

She wished she could be more upset about only winning third place in the art contest, but who had time to be upset over a lesser award when the winning picture had turned her life upside down?

"In my homeland, we call it _fillies-rabu._ It is the celebration of the enduring, innocent feelings between fillies and their ability to connect emotionally on deeper levels," the winner had said when asked to explain his piece. "In this portrait, Apple Tiara, we see these fillies expressing such innocent feelings among pastel flowers and soft meadows."

The crowd had ooohed and aaahed, save for Diamond Tiara's mother, who had fainted dead away at the sight. They hadn't even acted like anything was strange or off about the picture, only surrounded her and Diamond Tiara with congratulations on finding true love.

"But I'm not like that."

"As _if_ someone like me would ever date a country filly! No offense, Apple Bloom." How could she be offended when Diamond Tiara was _right?_ Sure, they were friends now, but Diamond Tiara wasn't as close to her as Sweetie Belle or Scootaloo. 

"She's just like her big sister!" one mare said. "A farmpony winning the heart of an upper-crust socialite!" That wasn't even how it happened with Applejack and Rarity, either. They were just friends who decided to be more, that's how Applejack had described it.

A week later, Ponyville wouldn't stop talking about it. One night, Diamond Tiara crawled through her bedroom window looking like she hadn't slept in weeks.

"Okay, listen, we both know there's totally nothing going on between us," she said before Apple Bloom had a chance to even say hi. "But like, we gotta stop these crazy stories. I asked Daddy if we could sue the colt who painted that picture, but he said no."

"Well, he _did_ work awful hard on it," Apple Bloom murmured. "He probably didn't know this was gonna happen."

"Well, it did." Diamond Tiara placed a hoof on hers. "And we gotta nip this thing in the bud, fast."

"But how? No one listens when we try to tell 'em it aint like that."

"Exactly. So for the next few weeks, we pretend it _is,_ " Diamond Tiara explained. "Then, we break up for whatever reason and go back to being friends! Simple, right?"

"You mean lie?" Applejack was the honest one in the family, but Apple Bloom wasn't much of a liar either. Especially if it meant lying to the whole town who was genuinely happy for them. "Won't it just make everyone awful sad when we break up? Y'know there're some ponies out there who've been calling us _relationship goals_ and sayin' how our love's transformed all of Ponyville." Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, and those ponies are idiots. _Crazy_ idiots. Why should we care about letting them down when they won't even _listen_ to us?" she asked. "I've tried to explain a million times to Mom that it was just a picture but she's still ranting and raving about how I'm never gonna carry on the Rich family line! And Daddy's being all happy for me, saying he's _proud_ of me for _finally accepting who I am._ " She made a face, blushing a little and turning away. "E-even if I _was_ into other fillies, I wouldn't be into...well..."

"Me too," Apple Bloom sighed. "And I _am_ tired of everyone comparin' us to Applejack and Rarity..."

"Hence, the need to _show_ them we're completely wrong for each other," Diamond Tiara said. "We pretend to be happy for a week, then let them watch it all crumble away until we have a big, public breakup!" Apple Bloom cocked an eyebrow.

"You sure we've gotta go _that_ far? I didn't get my cutie mark for _acting,_ you know."

"Just remember how I used to treat you before you and your friends reached out to me, and it'll come to you." Diamond Tiara smirked. "The bottom line is, once we break up, they'll leave us alone and we can date whoever we please!"

She didn't see how this could work. It was probably the worst idea anypony ever had, and she felt awful about lying to the whole town when everyone was so happy. On the other hoof, Diamond Tiara was begging her and she was almost physically incapable of saying no to a pony in need.

"If you're sure it'll get all the gossip to die down, I'm in," she sighed. Diamond Tiara hugged her so tightly she almost lost her breath.

"Oh, _thank you!_ The sooner we get this done the sooner my mother will stop crying!"

 

The next day, Apple Bloom made sure to tell Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo right away and swear them to secrecy. The Cutie Mark Crusaders didn't lie to each other, after all.

"Besides, it'll be a good way to get Rarity off _my_ back about finding a special pony," Sweetie Belle groaned. "I swear, she and Applejack are putting more energy into cheerleading you and Diamond Tiara than they did planning their own wedding, and they barely slept during those months!"

"Just don't get too sappy in public." Scootaloo stuck her tongue out "It was bad enough when Miss Cherrilee and your brother did it!"

"We'll try." Diamond Tiara pranced up to the schoolhouse just then, and Apple Bloom took a deep breath. _Showtime._ "Good morning, sweetie!"

"And how's my special fillyfriend this morning?" Diamond Tiara practically crooned, cuddling up to her. Scootaloo gagged, but thankfully Diamond Tiara didn't see it.

"I'm just fine, thanks! So, um...wanna walk me to class?"

"If you'll carry my books," Diamond Tiara giggled, tossing her leather and silk satchel onto Apple Bloom's back. A few fillies swooned, and a couple of colts blushed and snickered.

"So cute!"

"What a picture they are!"

"Move over, Cadence and Shining Armor, Equestria's got a new power couple!" Apple Bloom stifled an embarrassed groan, letting Diamond Tiara lean against her as they walked into the schoolhouse. _Can I really put up with a whole week of this?_

 

After school, Silver Spoon pulled her aside, demanding to talk to her. Apple Bloom was almost _hoping_ she'd go off on a jealous rant, so that at least one pony besides Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle would have their head on straight during all this.

"So like, Diamond Tiara's been my best friend since we were little," the other pony began, her face serious. "And she can be pretty sensitive, even back then. Like, she was kind of a crybaby back in those days, and she could get lonely, and she like, really needs someone who'll comfort her when she gets like that."

"Right," Apple Bloom said. "So I guess-"

"Luckily, you're one of the nicest ponies in the whole school and your whole thing is helping people," Silver Spoon cut her off. "So I'm like, trusting you to take good care of my best friend." _Oh, no, not her, too..._ For years, Apple Bloom had figured Silver Spoon was the one in love with Diamond Tiara, so either she'd had it wrong or Silver Spoon was over it.

Either way, she'd bought into all the hype. _Maybe Diamond Tiara better be the one to make the breakup happen when the time comes._

"So, you promise?" Silver Spoon prompted, and Apple Bloom nodded.

"Sure. You can count on me!"

 

After the first day, she learned to put up with the pet names, the public nuzzles, Diamond Tiara bragging about the dates they'd never actually been on and feeding her tidbits of whatever treat they were sharing at Sugarcube Corner. Diamond Tiara was nothing if not an attentive fillyfriend, and whoever she did wind up with in the future would be a lucky pony.

But as the days crept closer to their staged breakup, Diamond Tiara didn't seem to be backing off. The only change was she was a teensy bit less gooey about it after the first two days, and even weirder, she was starting to do that stuff even when they were alone.

It was the evening before the breakup, and Apple Bloom hadn't moved in three hours thanks to Diamond Tiara falling asleep on her shoulder. Part of her kept wanting to protest, but another part of her didn't have the heart to wake her.

And still another, teeny tiny part she'd been trying to ignore since day four kinda liked how it felt. Just like she enjoyed being called "half-pint," a name Diamond Tiara once used to tease her with but now she said with such affection. And the way Diamond Tiara giggled that time they licked frosting off each other's hooves for show.

And Silver Spoon, trusting her to take care of her best friend in the whole world, whether or not she'd had feelings for Diamond Tiara to begin with. _She really knows her better than anypony else, yet I'm the one she's trusting to take care of her now._

Ever since Diamond Tiara decided to be a better pony, she hadn't changed _completely._ She was still a little spoiled, a little selfish, but now that everyone knew how nice and helpful she could be, she wasn't afraid to be that way anymore.

_And her leadership skills helped fix the playground, got us another wing for the library..._

And then there was last year's Zap Apple harvest, when Granny Smith's back acted up and she couldn't take part. Diamond Tiara had rushed over, on her own accord, with as many classmates as she could round up to make up for Granny Smith's absence.

_She didn't even act all embarrassed about it, either. She even helped out with the sales, and not just countin' the money, either._

As Diamond Tiara slumbered on, Apple Bloom tried to remember the lines they'd written for the breakup tomorrow. But the more she went over them in her head the less sense they made, and the sadder she felt.

_But it's for the best. You wanted Ponyville to stop gushin' and starin' at you two all the time, comparin' you to Applejack and Rarity, right? And Diamond Tiara's lookin' just as forward to it bein' over as you._

When Diamond Tiara finally woke up, Apple Bloom walked her home. Diamond Tiara insisted they take the long way, and when they nuzzled goodnight, she felt a strange spark she hadn't felt any other time they'd done it.

 

"We need to talk, half-pint"

Today was the day. In a few hours, her relationship with Diamond Tiara would end and everything would go back to normal. No more gushing from other ponies, no more love-talk, no more cuddling, no more putting on a big show.

"Yeah, you did good rememberin' your lines," Apple Bloom said. "I guess one more rehearsal can't hurt before we-"

"I don't want to break up."

"Huh?!" She tried to check for any signs of lying, like Applejack would do, but Diamond Tiara's face was serious, eyes staring into hers. "But I thought-"

"Okay, like, when I went to bed last night I did a _lot_ of thinking. About us," Diamond Tiara said. "About how I used to pick on you all the time, but like, you never hold it against me. I mean, you poke me when I get annoying, sure, but, like, the way you treat me it's like we've never been enemies!" Apple Bloom blushed a little.

"Yeah, well...you really wanted to be a better pony, and you've stuck to it."

"And that's just _it!_ I didn't know if I could do it, but you kept on me, you believed in me, and that's why...why I..." Diamond Tiara turned bright pink and stared at the floor, muttering something."

"What's that?"

" _I love you for real!_ " The words left her mouth so quickly, but so loudly Apple Bloom couldn't miss them. "I know, I know, I'm an _idiot_. I bet _you're_ good and ready for it to stop, I bet you've already set your sights on somepony else, and I'll still go along with it, I promise! I just had to tell you the truth or I'd burst."

If Apple Bloom hadn't been wrestling with her own feelings, she'd think Diamond Tiara was playing a dirty trick. _She's still got a sneaky side, and she is awful good at getting her way by makin' others feel guilty even if she uses that power for good nowadays._ But right now all she felt was _surprised._

"Y'really...I mean, not that I'd think you're lyin', but..."

"Good, cause I'm not." Diamond Tiara shuffled her front hooves, still bright pink. "Look, if you don't...I mean, I didn't tell you just so you'd-"

"I think I feel the same," Apple Bloom interrupted. She hadn't meant to, but poor Diamond Tiara didn't deserve to be kept dangling. "I just didn't think you would, cause...well, we're friends, but..."

"I know, I said you were't my type, and I know you're tired of everypony saying you're just like your sister," Diamond Tiara muttered. "But if you and I both feel the same, does that mean..."

"It means it doesn't matter what other ponies say anymore." Apple Bloom smiled. "Just cause they say we're like Applejack and Rarity doesn't mean we _are,_ even if we're in love. We're all different ponies, and I think everyone's eventually gonna accept that and can the chatter!"

"You're awfully optimistic." Diamond Tiara finally faced her, still blushing, but smiling a little. "But...you're right. If we like each other, who cares what they say?"

"And we figured it out all by ourselves, too!" Apple Bloom moved closer and leaned against her, and Diamond Tiara's smile became a smirk.

"And since we're actually going to be a couple now, it'll be _nice_ being the most important fillies in Ponyville because of it. I didn't want to admit it, but all that attention sure felt good." Apple Bloom rolled her eyes, stifling a giggle.

"I dunno about _that..._ "

"Trust me, you'll love it." Diamond Tiara sighed, pulling Apple Bloom down onto the bed with her and cuddling close. "Thanks for last night, too. You're a cozy pillow for somepony so small."

"I'll be your pillow anytime you want."

When they leaned in to nuzzle each other, this time there was no hesitation or uncertainty. What _did_ it matter if some painting and a bunch of chatter sparked this? _If we like each other, that's all that matters._

She rested her cheek against Diamond Tiara's mane, sighing happily. _Looks like we don't have anywhere to be today until we want to._


End file.
